Out of the Coat Closet
by Queen of Sarab
Summary: SLASH(Clex). Feeling alone on his birthday, Lex seeks comfort with a friend he hopes will become more... ok, so I'm bad at summaries. Please R&R! rating for language and, um, making out...CHAPTER 7 ADDED!
1. Chapter One

**Out of the Coat Closet**   
** Chapter One**   
by Queen of Sarab 

Author's Note: Since this is my first fic in this fandom, please don't kill me if the characters aren't completely and totally what you think of them... this is just my humble interpretation. Anyway... thanks for reading. And remember- REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW! I'll love you for it... *grins hopefully* 

** Chapter One**

Lex Luther was surrounded by people, but he had never felt more alone.   
It was his birthday party, and he should have been enjoying it. But the 20-somethings laughing, dancing, and drinking around him were exactly the kind of people he dd not feel like being around- rich, important, and utterly apathetic.   
Far too like myself, Lex thought with an self-important smirk.   
The party had been his father's idea- and the guest list, too, had been Lionel's. It was really more of a schmooze fest than a birthday party, and Lex didn't really want to be diplomatic at the moment. His mind kept wandering, away from all the pretty and scantily-clad girls giggling and clinging in his general vicinity, to a certain dark-haired farmboy who epitomized everything these people were not.   
Maybe that was why he liked Clark so much. He had grown up around fakes and brownosers- people too concerned with their own image and power to care about anything else. And he had been so close to reaching that point himself- when Clark had swooped in and changed everything.   
Lex glanced with mock indifference at his watch. 2:00 a.m. The party was bound to last far into the morning, he thought with a grimace.   
He reasoned he had stayed long enough to satisfy making an appearance; besides, if he had to be with these people much longer, it would be back to the coat closet for him...   
Detaching himself from some sniveling girl whose name he couldn't even remotely remember, he began inching slowly towards the door. 

Ten minutes later, he was in his car, speeding wildly along an old dirt road. He knew where he wanted to go- but he wasn't sure if the boy scout would be in bed yet.   
The image of Clark in bed brought a small smirk to his lips. He quickly stifled it, trying instead to turn his mind to where he was going. The turns he had been making had been automatic, and now that he looked around him, it was obvious where he was heading.   
He was going to the Kent farm.   
Lex slowed as he neared the farm, stopping the car far away enough that the house and barn were just barely visible for what they were. It was nearly 2:30. If Clark's parents found him out here... well, it definitely wouldn't help Jonathan Kent's opinon of him.   
But honestly, Lex didn't care what Clark's parents thought. The only person he cared about was Clark.   
A light flickered on in the loft of the barn. Clark, Lex thought hopefully. So he was up.   
As quietly as he could, Lex slipped out of his car and started toward the barn. If Clark was up, he reasoned, he might as well go up and say hello...   
"Lex!" a voice hissed above him.   
Lex glanced up, where Clark stood waving down at him, a charmingly innocent smile plastered across his face.   
"Come on up," he whispered again.   
Lex nodded, creeping around to the barn doors and inside, then continuing up the stairs to the loft. Clark waited at the top.   
"What are you doing here so late?" Clark asked as Lex reached the top. "Or should I say early?"   
Lex laughed lightly. "I was just escaping my birthday party," he explained. "And my car seemed oddly drawn to your farm."   
"Birthday?" Clark's brow knotted in consternation. "I didn't know it was your birthday. I don't have..."   
"Clark, it's all right," Lex cut in with another small laugh. "Besides, it hasn't really been my birthday for..." he glanced at his watch, "Two and a half hours. I'd really just like to block the entire experience out of my mind."   
Seeing no chairs, Les balanced carefully on the edge of the bed set up there for Clark. He smiled as he felt the obviously homemade quilt beneath his fingers, and traced a finger over the design distractedly.   
Clark sat down next to him, placing a comforting hand on Lex's free one. "Are you..."   
"I'm fine," Lex interrupted again. "Really, Clark. I'm used to having birthdays..."   
His mind finished for him. Hiding in the coat closet.   
"I don't really have good birthdays," he said aloud. "It's not quite the holiday for me it is for most people. Just... business as usual."   
"Lex..."   
Lex shook his head, a forced smirk plastered on his lips. "Clark, really. It's nothing new. I stopped caring years ago."   
Clark frowned in annoyance, but said no more about it. It was obvious what he was thinking- Poor Lex... how sad... Lex turned slightly in annoyance; pity always made him uncomfortable.   
It wasn't until several seconds later that he realized Clark's hand was still laid, comfortingly, on his own.   
Clark realized the fact at about the same time, and pulled his hand away, blushing wildly.   
"Clark," Lex said softly. "I..."   
Lex Luther didn't blush. And he didn't get flustered. But, surprisingly, his mind was blank of anything appropiate to say.   
Actions speak louder than words, he reminded himself firmly. He reached out, gently taking Clark's hand within his own, and then leaned in to kiss him.   
Although Clark's innocent eyes widened slightly at the movement, he didn't try to move, and he certainly didn't protest. Instead, he closed his eyes as Lex's lips brushed his; first lightly, and then more firmly, with a certain edge of demand.   
Clark leaned into Lex, allowing the older man to tangle his elegant hands in the thick, dark hair that hung around Clark's face. Lex broke away with a soft smile- a far cry from his usual insolent smirk- and pulled his hand out of his hair and along Clark's strong jawbone before pulling away, a suddenly embarassed look flicking across his features. "Clark..." he pleaded. "If you don't want..."   
"Shh," Clark said with a slight smile, laying one finger on the man's lips before leaning into another kiss.   
This time the kiss deepened quickly, and it was Clark's tongue that pushed its way past Lex's teeth, exploring lightly the cavern of his mouth. Clark, one strong arms wrapped around the smaller man's waist, pulled Lex against his broad chest protectively. Lex arched into him, moving his finger in small circles in the hollow of Clark's cheek.   
God, this felt so right, as if everything in the world had simply been waiting for this moment, holding its breath until this very kiss... Lex's lips curved into a smile against Clark's. What a sickenly sentimental thought.   
He loved it.   
Gently, Lex urged Clark backwards until he was lying on the bed, Lex lying on top, lips straying from Clark's and down along his throat. Clark's eyes closed softly, a faint smile playing about his mouth.   
"Fuck," Lex breathed.   
Clark's eyes flew open, shocked at what he believed to be the implication behind the words. 'Lex!" he exclaimed.   
It was a few seconds before he realized Lex had stopped his attentions and was staring beyoond him, muscles clenched and frozen.   
Clark shifted to look in the same direction, toward the stairs leading up to the loft. And echoed Lex's sentiment.   
Johnathan Kent stood there, frozen in utter shock. 


	2. Chapter Two

**Out of the Coat Closet**   
** by Queen of Sarab**

**Disclaimer:** Oops, forgot one of these last time... um, Smallville and everything affliated with it do not (unfortunately) belong to me... 

**AN:** Yea! Thank you for all the feedback on Chapter One... I really appreciate all of your   
comments. Of course, feedback on this chapter would also be adored... so don't forget to   
review! Unfortunately, no Clex smoochies in this chapter... sigh. I'll try to get some in ASAP... especially if you guys give me many reviews! Dont make me beg... *grinning hopefully* 

** Chapter Two**

Jonathan stood completely still for several seconds- it seemed to Clark like days- and then, without a word, he turned and walked out of the barn.   
"Oh, my God," Clark breathed. "I am so dead."   
Lex, who had until this point remained in his position on top of Clark, now rolled into a   
sitting position next to him. His usually confident expression was gone, replaced by a severely shocked look of utter horror. This was something he had definitely not planned on- and, for once, he was at a loss.   
"Clark..." he began shakily, refusing to allow himself to meet the terrified look in the younger man's eyes. "I..."   
"Maybe you should go," Clark said finally.   
Lex nodded silently, slowly starting towards the stairs. Before he headed down, he ventured one glance back at the boy who had come to mean so much to him. Clark was still sitting silently on the bed, shoulders hunched forward. As Lex watched, he dropped his face into his large caulloused hands, dark hair tangling itself around his fingers.   
Hair that had, just a few minutes before, been tangled around Lex's own fingers, Lex remembered, wincing sharply. Hair he would love to have caught in his fingers again.   
But that thought was useless, now. Lex's chance had been blown by Jonathan's   
interruption, and Lex knew it. Clark was too obedient, too damn good, to do anything he   
thought his parents might disapprove of. In fact, if Lex hadn't kissed him, catching him up   
in the emotion of the moment, Clark probably wouldn't have considered doing what they'd   
done tonight.   
God, it was too much. Lex ran a hand nervously over his smooth head, then turned and   
went down the stairs. He couldn't bear looking at Clark anymore, knowing he'd never again   
be able to feel those lips against his.   
A sudden resentment boiled up inside of him at Jonathan Kent. If he hadn't walked in, if   
he hadn't seen... Clark would still be in his arms. What the hell was he doing in the barn at   
three in the morning, anyway?   
But it was no use building an anger that was, honestly, undeserved, and Lex managed to keep his demeanor cool and collected at he walked out to his car. He could see the shadowy figure of Jonathan Kent on the porch. Watching to make sure I leave, Lex thought grimly. Well, guess what? You got it.   
Then he ducked into his car, and sped off into the night. 

Clark didn't move. He barely breathed. His mind was still locked, unforgiving, on that moment- that terrible, horrible moment- when he had seen his father standing there. The expression on Jonathan Kent's face had been so totally shocked- so completely and utterly fearful- and it loomed in Clark's frantic brain, a constant reminder of his guilt.   
But why should he feel guilty? A small part of his brain nagged. What was so terribly wrong about something that had seemed so wonderful? How could such an incredible revelation turn so horribly bad in such a short amount of time?   
Being with Lex hadn't seemed wrong. But being with Lex and his father knowing... suddenly, the relationship took on a whole new context. Clark could easily see it through his father's eyes, and he knew how bad it looked.   
This really wasn't going to help any with his father's opinion of Lex, Clark thought   
wryly.   
Clark made a mental comparison. Pros- he liked Lex. It felt right being with him,   
pressed against him... it felt right having his lips against Clark's own. God, it felt so   
right...   
But there were cons. Of course there were. So, Clark thought. Cons- well, it was illegal,   
for one thing. The age difference was so great... and then, of course, there was the fact   
that Lex was male. Clark had never thought that would be a direction he would go in...   
besides, he'd always thought he was in love with Lana. But lately... his feelings for Lex had   
been overwhelming. He could hardly be around the older man without feeling like he was suddenly whole- like he had only been half a person until he'd met Lex.   
Of course, none of that bothered Clark quite as much as his father's reaction. Jonathan would have been shocked to see Clark making out with anyone- but the fact that it was Lex, an older male that Jonathan didn't particularly like or trust, just amplified the feeling about, oh, 200 times over.   
"Clark?"   
Clark bolted up at the sound of his father's voice, aqua eyes wide. "Dad, I..." he began,   
and then he stopped. He didn't honestly have any idea what to say. What could he say?   
After all, actions spoke louder than words- and Clark was fairly sure his actions had been earsplitting.   
Jonathan Kent sat down next to Clark on the bed. "Clark," he began, eyes cast down, "You know that I love you. And that I'd love to support you in everything you do..." Jonathan winced. "Or feel. But the simple fact is, I don't think this is you."   
Clark's brow knit in consternation. "Not me?"   
"No," Jonathan continued. "Obviously, you've been going through alot lately- the   
teenage years are hard enough without having to deal with the powers you have on top of   
everything. But... letting Lex take advantage of your confusion isn't going to help anything."   
Clark was seriously confused, now. Lex, taking advantage of him? But Clark had wanted   
this for months- he'd yearned for the merest touch from the young billionare since he'd pulled him half-alive out of the water. His feelings for Lex had grown as his feelings for Lana had diminished, truly transforming into the desire for mere friendship with the girl he'd said was all he wanted all along.   
And now, just when he'd been truly happy, when his craving for Lex had culminated into   
true action, his father had stepped in and brought reality with him, like a slap to the face. How could Clark ever really be with Lex? Who would ever approve? Certainly not Clark's parents- and he loved them too much to go against them. The question that hovered in his brain now, though, was- did he love Lex as much?   
But it didn't matter. Clark knew he wouldn't go against his parents. But he also couldn't let his father think this was all Lex's fault.   
"Dad, Lex wasn't taking advantage of me," he protested. "It was... mutual. There was no taking advantage of anyone."   
"Whatever you call it, Clark," Jonathan shook his head. "You're a confused, hormone-driven teenager- and Lex is much older than you." He paused, then laid his forehead on his hand with a frustrated sigh. "Clark, what were you thinking?!"   
Clark winced at the level of his father's voice. He was practically yelling- if he got any   
louder, it would probably wake up Clark's mother- and then where would he be? He   
certainly didn't want to deal with two angry and disappointed parents at the same time.   
"I wasn't thinking," Clark whispered. "I was just... feeling."   
But Jonathan hadn't even heard his son's whispered confession. He was still centered on his frustration, running an angry hand through his short hair. "I just don't understand, Clark. Lex Luther? I mean, he's..." Jonathan hesitated.   
"You can say it, Dad," Clark sighed. "He's a guy. Yes, I do realize that. And I never   
imagined myself in this situation, either. But I can't help how I feel..."   
There he trailed off. What could he say that would convince his father to let him be   
with Lex? It would have been hard enough with another man, anyway- but adding to that   
Jonathan Kent's natural hatred of the Luthers, Clark knew it was a damn near impossible   
situation.   
"You can't know that you really feel like that about Lex," Clark's father stopped. "You   
haven't known him that long, and.... God, Clark, whatever happened to your innocent crush on Lana Lang?" Jonathan let out a short, hurt laugh, and Clark winced. "How do you go from the girl next door to..."   
"Lex Luthor," Clark whispered wryly. "Prince of darkness."   
"Clark..."   
"No, Dad," Clark shook his head. "Just... I just need to be alone for awhile. Okay?"   
Jonathan Kent nodded numbly, then stood."Think, Clark," he pleaded. "Just think about   
what you're doing."   
"Trust me, Dad. I'm thinking."   
His father sighed, then turned and walked down the stairs.   
Clark sat in silence for several seconds. Then, feeling rather numb himself, he stood and walked over to his telescope. He had found himself using it to look at Lana less and less- but now, he put his eye to it. Maybe, for his parents, he could just... stop feeling for Lex. Maybe he could go back to his innocent crush on Lana.   
Of course, all he saw was Lana's empty porch- it was three in the morning, after all- but he could easily remember all the times that, through the telescope, he had seen Lana sitting on her porch swing, laughing and joking with Whitney, dark hair swinging lightly around her pretty face.   
But Clark felt no familiar surge of jealousy at the memory. In fact, he hadn't in months. Slowly, he stepped away from the telescope, and stared vacantly out into the night. He didn't love Lana. He'd had a puppy-dog crush, no more. And now, all he could think about was how completely right Lex's lips had felt, pressed in open demand against his own.   
No, he didn't love Lana. He loved Lex Luther.   
But now, Clark knew he could never have him.   
  



	3. Chapter Three

**Out of the Coat Closet**   
**by Queen of Sarab**

Author's Note: Thanks for all feedback on the last chapter! Sorry it's taken me so long to get this one posted... hope it was worth the wait... I'll try to get the next one up faster, I swear! And please, please, please- don't forget to review! It makes me soo0 happy and I write much faster when I'm happy! *grins hopefully*

Chapter Three   
Lex didn't sleep that night.   
His birthday party- which he had long forgotten- was still raging when he walked through the door, and he cursed silently. All that he wanted now was to go sit, alone, in his room, and sulk. Or perhaps drown himself in his work.   
Actually, what he wanted was Clark. He yearned to feel the newly discovered comfort of Clark's body; the pleasure of Clark's lips against his own. He could remember the silk of Clark's thick hair between his fingers, and the taste of him lingered in Lex's mouth.   
He tastes like mint, Lex smiled. And some indefinable Clark scent that left a heavy and satisfied feeling with the recipient; Lex couldn't imagine how he'd lived without it. The very memory of Clark intoxicated him, and he had to shake himself firmly to stop the natural pull of his body toward the car that could take him back to the Kent farm.   
No, he reminded himself. He won't want you now. Not after what his father's seen. Not without his parent's approval.   
Lex snorted derisively. The Kents approving a relationship between their son and Lex Luther, root of all evil, was about as likely as a sunny day in England.   
To be fair, Lex supposed Martha Kent didn't particularly hate him. Didn't being the key word- Lex was sure, after Jonathan told her what he'd seen (and he would), Martha would have the same esteemed opinion of him most people did already.   
But Lex didn't honestly care. All he was really worried about was Clark- Lex had left when asked, but he wished now that he'd stayed. Maybe he could have comforted Clark, or at least help ease the pain of the "discussion" with Jonathan that was sure to follow what Clark's father had seen.   
Lex escaped to the silence of his room, sitting silently in the middle of his large, silk-sheeted bed and thinking. What could he do? Was there anything he could do to convince Clark to be with him? That being with him was right?   
Lex didn't know. But he was sure as hell going to try- Lex Luther did not give up without a fight. 

Clark was still sitting silently in the loft when the sun peeked over the horizon, filling the sky with a symphony of reds and golds. Usually, the beautiful colors would bring a smile to his lips- but this particular morning, he didn't feel much like smiling.   
He groaned as he realized today was a school day, and, for probably the first time in his life, contemplated skipping. But he knew it wouldn't do him any good- besides, he needed to do something to keep his mind off of Lex. Even schoolwork seemed a welcome release.   
But he wasn't feeling any less distracted once he arrived at school. In fact, his obsession with the night before threw off everthing he did. In English, his distracted daydreaming nearly earned him a detention; he was sure he'd failed his History test; and by lunch, where he sat staring at his lunch tray for nearly ten minutes without moving, his friends were a little worried.   
"Clark, are you okay?" Chloe asked, raising an eyebrow quizzically. "You seem to be in a bit of a stupor today."   
Shaking himself into a response, Clark managed a weak smile. "Nothing's wrong," he lied- badly. "I'm fine."   
Chloe and Pete exchanged a Look. With an annoyed sigh, Chloe shrugged. "All right," she said, "but if you..."   
"I'm fine, Chloe," Clark cut in, wincing slightly at the hurt look that flickered across his friend's face. "I'm sorry, it's just... sorry." he stammered. "I didn't mean to snap at you."   
Chloe just nodded silently, still looking a bit like a kicked puppy.   
By the time Clark headed to the Torch office for a meeting with Chloe after school, he was numb. He had played the scene from the night before over and over again in his head, and each time the memory of Lex against him reminded him of how incredibly perfect the kisses had been- and the image of his father's horrified face strengthened his resolve to forget the entire thing had happened.   
But that was proving rather difficult. And, Clark admitted to himself, he didn't want to forget.   
Clark just wanted to leave. To get away from all these people. But the prospect of home was no better- and where else could he go? Certainly not the Luther mansion.   
With a sorrowful sigh, Clark turned into the Torch office- and stopped short. Lex stood there, pretending to examine the "Wall of Weird" while Chloe jabbered on about each clipping, a huge grin plastered across her face.   
Lex turned at the sound of Clark's tread, and Clark inhaled sharply at the tortured yearning in his ice-blue eyes.   
"Clark," Lex smiled softly. "I've been looking for you."   
Clark's heart beat wildly in his chest. But he can't do anything while Chloe's here, Clark reminded himself firmly. And then there won't be a problem.   
"You know what?" Chloe quipped suddenly. "I just remembered this... thing... I have to do. Guess I've got to go..."   
Damn.   
"But Chloe, our meeting..." Clark began, faltering as she brushed past him and out the door.   
"Sorry, Clark. See you later!"   
Oh, God. OhGodohGodohgod... Clark was alone with Lex. There was no avoiding the subject now, Clark thought with a wince, or just forgetting. He'd been hoping to avoid Lex for a little longer... like, say, forever.   
As it was, though, he had no choice but to turn and face Lex.   
"Your friend is very perceptive," Lex smirked.   
He was right, of course, Clark realized. Chloe's excuse for leaving was lame, to say the least. She knew- or at least suspected- that Clark had feelings for Lex. Or vice versa.   
And she was trying to be helpful, Clark groaned inwardly.   
In response to Lex, he merely shrugged, then pretended to be intently interested in a piece of lint on his flannel sleeve.   
Lex walked swiftly towards Clark, turning to close the door before speaking again.   
"Clark," he said softly. "We can't just ignore this."   
Uncomfortably aware of how close Lex was standing, Clark shifted his weight nervously from foot to foot. "There is no 'this', Lex," he murmured, refusing to lift his eyes to Lex's. "It never happened. Just forget it."   
"Clark, it happened," Lex insisted. "And personally, I wouldn't mind it happening again. And I know you have problems with it, probably for multiple reasons..." Lex took a deep breath. "But Clark, last night was like nothing I've ever experienced. And trust me- I've gotten much farther with many different people. But you, Clark... those simple kisses were so much more sincere, so much more real, than anything I've ever done with anyone. I felt more in those few minutes than I have in all the time since my mother died. And I know you felt it too. The question is whether you're willing to admit it to yourself."   
Clark stopped moving with a slight sigh. "Lex..." he began, stammering slightly. "I understand. I really do. But I can't." He lifted his eyes to Lex, brow knit with sorrow. "I just can't. My father..." he paused again. "Lex, it's wrong."   
"Dammit, Clark!" Lex exploded, spinning away. He ran a hand over his bald head angrily, took a deep breath, and turned back, an intense and determined look lighting his eyes.   
He was by Clark again in a few steps, and he pressed closer, eyes boring relentlessly into the boy's. Clark inhaled sharply, and Lex allowed himself a small smile, pushing one slender hand through Clark's hair to rest on the back of his neck.   
Then he pulled Clark's face to his own, and their lips met once more.   
Clark's lips parted slightly at the touch, and Lex pushed his tongue into the farmboy's mouth greedily, letting it dart over every ridge of Clark's mouth. Clark arched into him, arms involuntarily wrapping around Lex's waist, his grip tightening as Lex's mouth became more demanding, pushing without pause harder against the younger man.   
Clark's musky scent overwhelmed Lex's senses, filling every pore of his body with a deep-rooted sense of belonging. The younger boy was responding-there was no denying it. Lex wasn't the only one pushing for more, urging the kiss to deepen, and that simple fact filled Lex with hope.   
Lex broke away with a tiny gasp, lips curving into a satisfied smirk.   
"Does it feel wrong?" he asked.   
  



	4. Chapter Four

Out of the Coat Closet

By Queen of Sarab

AN: Sorry (again) this chapter took so long I just got all wrapped up in end of school stuff. (Yea! No more High School! Wahoo! Ahem. Ok.) Anyway I really will, seriously this time, try to get the next chapter out faster please, please, PLEASE review! Thanks for reading!

Chapter Four

Lex watched with keen blue eyes as Clark's face twisted in indecision. So absolutely perfect, Lex thought, licking his lips to taste the boy once more. Beautiful- that thick, dark hair, sweetly innocent eyes, charming smile... but he looked just as good when he's upset.

He repeated his question softly. "Clark- Does it feel wrong?"

With a small sigh, Clark lowered his eyes, concentrating intently on his feet. He kicked nervously at an imagined piece of lint on the floor. 

"Clark."

His head snapped up, blue eyes locking with Lex's for a brief moment before he spoke.

"No," he admitted softly. "It doesn't."

Feeling like crowing in triumph, Lex took a tentative, happy step back toward Clark. His lips- so used to his trademark smirk- twisted into genuine smile, and Clark broke into a grin in response. "You really mean it?" Lex practically chirped. "Are you sure?"

"I'm sure, Lex, but..." the grin faded to a frown. "I'm- I'm afraid I'll hurt you."

A laugh bubbled up from Lex's throat. "That's one I haven't heard before."

"I'm serious, Lex!" Clark cried out, frustrated. "I- I can't tell you exactly, but there are things you don't know about me..."

"Right," Lex's trademark smirk was back. "Your big secret. But Clark, you know what? I don't care anymore. I wouldn't care if you were a fucking alien. I just don't. All I care about is you, and having you."

A hysterical giggle bubbled out of Clark's throat.

"What, pray tell, is so funny?" Lex arched one eyebrow in slight annoyance.

"N-no-nothing," Clark gasped, breathing deeply until he was calm. "I'm s-sorry. I'll be serious." At his friend's still questioning look, he continued. "I'm just a bit hysterical, I guess. It's It's been a rough day."

Lex laughed sharply. "For both of us," he agreed. "But it doesn't have to stay that way."

Expression growing serious very suddenly, Clark turned away. "No, Lex," he said. "It will stay that way. My parents would never approve. Not many people will. Every day we're together will be rough. But if we're not together- well" he trailed off momentarily. "Every day would be like today. The knowledge of what we don't have will."

"Drive us to distraction," Lex finished softly. "Quite the catch-22."

Clark nodded agreement, mouth twisting into a perturbed grimace. "It would be so hard," he whispered, eyes drifting to the floor uneasily. 

"It's nothing compared to the other option," Lex decided aloud. "Living without you Clark, for the past several years I've been running blind. Moving through life without feeling and very little sense of purpose. The only time I was even alive was when I was at work, and that came only from an insane desire to outdo my father." He took a deep breath before continuing. "I've been half a person, Clark, if even that. An empty shell, numb to the normal emotions of a human being."

"When you pulled me from that water, it was like the beginning of a new life. I saw everything in a new light- and it was all because of you. And as the days went by, as I came in contact with you more and more, I began to slowly realize that without you, my life was nothing." A soft, wistful smile, extremely out of character for the young Luthor, played across his lips. "When you were around, I felt suddenly whole."

"Clark," Lex cast his gaze, unseeing, towards the wall. His voice broke slightly as he spoke, and Clark's head shot up in surprise. "I need you. I need you to complete me, and I need you to continue feeling like life is more than the vicious struggle for money and power. I need" 

He stopped suddenly, then let out a tight, surprised laugh. "You see what you do to me?" a small smirk crossed his lips. "I've turned into one of the babbling, lovesick idiots I used to ridicule."

Clark didn't reply for several seconds, distress and indecision etched across every line of his face. Lex sat in desperate silence, his lips tilting more swiftly into a frown with every passing second.

"I don't know," Clark finally said softly, as if responding to a question only he could hear. "I just I don't know. I don't know if I can do this, or handle this, or" he shook his head suddenly, one large hand pressed to his forehead. "I need more time to think."

"Take as much as you need," Lex answered, icy eyes earnest. "I'm good at biding my time."

Clark nodded slightly, avoiding Lex's gaze deliberately- then he turned and hurried out of the Torch office.

He broke into super-speed as soon as he was out of sight. Where he was going, he wasn't quite sure- but he didn't want to stay home, and he couldn't bear to stay at school. So Clark just ran, letting the wind and his feet take him where they would.

When he finally stopped, dark hair tousled from the run, Clark knew immediately where he was. 

The bridge. Where it had all began- where Lex had rammed into him with the car; where Clark had pulled the young heir out of the water. Where their friendship- leading into a deeper bond- had been forged. 

Clark leaned on the railing along the side, staring moodily into the water below. The afternoon sun played along the tiny crests and waves of the water, glinting golden against its dark depths. 

It's so beautiful, Clark mused. So serene. 

So very unlike the day when he's pulled Lex's nearly lifeless form from its frigid depths. 

Fate played odd games, he thought. If he hadn't pulled Lex out of the water well, he'd never have known Lex as he knew him now. Never have experienced the mixed joys and sorrows that went along with a relationship of any kind with the young Luthor. 

But he had saved Lex- and now he was left with this torment eating away at his soul. Every natural and pure instinct in his body told him to go after Lex- to pursue the type of relationship Lex wanted. Never, in his entire time on Earth, had Clark felt such a deep connection with another human being. Every other crush or love he'd thought he had before these past few months paled in the brilliance of Lex's elegant beauty. 

Yet, still, a part of him nagged at his conscience, telling him to distance himself from Lex as much and as quickly as possible. The voice of his distressed father rang over and over again through his head, telling him Lex was bad news- nothing but trouble.

But so what? his rebellious side argued valiantly. What does reputation, or even parental consent, for that matter, have to do with love? 

Clark knew that, no matter what happened, his feelings for Lex wouldn't change. The only difference was whether he decided to act on them, or let them lie dormant and festering inside.

As Clark stood on the bridge pondering these problems, the sky overhead grew darker and darker. Soon it would be nightfall- so, reluctantly, Clark turned and began to very slowly trek back toward his home.


	5. Chapter Five

****

Out of the Coat Closet

By Queen of Sarab

AN: Yay, Fanfiction's back! Ok Well, here's chapter five I wrote it at like 2 in the morning, so if there are any mistakes I missed in proofreading I apologize profusely anyway, R&R!

Chapter Five

It was barely after five in the afternoon when Lex walked back into his home. He wasn't beaten- Clark just needed time- but he was exhausted, head pounding with frustration and yearning. 

No matter how tired he was, however, he reminded himself firmly, he was a Luthor, and he had a plant to run. So, instead of slipping into his satin-sheeted bed- as he wanted so desperately to do- Lex plodded into his office, sinking into the large desk chair with a light sigh. His head fell back against the chair's upholstered back, and he closed his eyes for a few brief moments; and then he was back, pushing his exhaustion away and leaning over the large stack of papers littering his desk. 

A grating buzz from his phone interrupted him almost immediately. With an irritated sigh he pressed the button to answer. "Yes?"

"There's a Jonathan Kent here to see you, sir."

Wonderful. Exactly what he needed, Lex thought with a grimace. 

"Send him in, Julia," he ordered his secretary. "And bring me some painkillers," he added with a sigh.

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later, he reasoned as he waited. A devoted father like Jonathan Kent wouldn't just stand aside and watch as his son was wooed to the "dark side", would he? Lex had been expecting this- but now, head throbbing from his confrontation with the younger Kent, he did not feel up to dealing with Clark's father. 

A soft knock at the door alerted him to the presence of his secretary, who bustled in to hand him the painkillers he had asked for. He gulped them down like gasps of air, chasing them with purified water from the bottle he always kept near his desk.

"Mr. Kent is on his way in, sir," Julia informed him before hurrying out of the office.

That ominous proclamation was followed very closely by another, more hesitant, knock against the office door. And here it comes, Lex grimaced.

"It's open," he called.

The door creaked open, and Jonathan Kent followed it tentatively, running one hand nervously through his short hair. He pushed the door closed behind him, continuing to stand awkwardly by it until Lex stood, motioning to a chair across his desk.

"Please sit down, Mr. Kent," he said. "Make yourself comfortable."

"I won't be here long," Jonathan insisted, sitting stiffly in the proffered chair. Lex returned to his seat. "I just needed to speak to you"

He paused, face twisting in sudden indecision. Lex finished for him. "You came to speak to me about your son."

"Yes," Jonathan confirmed, relaxing slightly. "I walked in on something last night- I'll let you explain what it was- and well, I've talked to Clark and it seems I'm left with talking to you."

"I see," Lex said, voice cool. "Well, Mr. Kent, I must tell you it surprises me you expect me to explain what' you saw last night. I'd believed it was fairly obvious. But, if you insist, your son and I were simply acting on feelings that have lain dormant for quite some time."

Jonathan's gaze, which been skipping around the room, desperately avoiding the younger man, snapped suddenly to Lex's face. "I'm not sure I understand what you mean."

"I mean that I love your son very much, Mr. Kent," Lex answered, eyes narrowed dangerously. "And I believe he returns my feelings."

"I see," answered Jonathan slowly. "Well, I don't know what my son has told you, Lex, but he's young. He thinks he knows what he wants but he's a teenager, full of conflicting emotions, and he's too young to really grasp what life has to offer him" he trailed off for a moment, then began speaking again with a sigh. "It's not that I would have a problem with him being gay. It is would be hard to accept, but he's my son, and I'd do my best. But I do have a problem with him"

"Choosing a Luthor," Lex finished for him.

"No, I wasn't going to say that," insisted Jonathan gruffly. "But you are older than him Lex, and the responsibility here lies with you. Clark is confused. The last thing he needs is someone pushing him into a relationship he'll regret."

Lex was silent for a moment before answering. "With all due respect, Mr. Kent," he said finally. "No matter how huge a monster you may picture me, I haven't forced your son into anything. I never would. If Clark is uncomfortable with our relationship, he's welcome to back out at any time. But he's not. In fact, his only problem with it seems to be his fear of your disapproval. Frankly, I think we would have been together long before now if it wasn't for his constant yearning for the approval of you and Mrs. Kent."

Face reddening, Jonathan answered. "Clark has always had our approval, Lex. And nothing you say to me will make your relationship with my son less wrong."

"Wrong," Lex gave a wry laugh. "I'm really beginning to hate that word. I'm still having a little trouble with that aspect of it, actually. What do you dislike more, Mr. Kent, the fact that your son loves an older man or the fact that he loves a Luthor?"

Temporarily speechless with anger, Jonathan Kent sputtered slightly. Lex smirked wryly in return. 

"As I have already explained to you," the young Luthor continued. "I love your son. If that's wrong, than I suppose I'm wrong, and I'll take whatever consequence comes with it. But I have honestly never felt anything was more right. You disagree, I'm sure, and I'm sorry if I can't change your mind. But I also know that you hold a grudge against my family, and nothing that I've done or said, or that your own family has done or said, has changed that. I'm not giving up, but I acknowledge now that you may never accept me, even as Clark's friend. And that is, obviously, your choice. But I hope that you will also accept your son's choice, even if it is to be with a man you despise."

"I trust Clark," Jonathan countered angrily. "And I trust that he will make the right decision- most of the time. But in this case, to be frank, I think you're taking advantage of his confusion, and his naivete, and I can only hope that he'll see through your bribes and smooth talk soon enough to avoid a huge mistake."

With that, Jonathan Kent stood abruptly, eyes blazing, and turned as if to leave. Lex stood up where he was, cool eyes fixed on the man before him.

"I would never take advantage of your son," he breathed. "I would never hurt him, or do anything to or with him without his express permission. As I've said before, and I'll say again, I care for Clark very deeply. And no amount of close-minded preaching will change that."

Jonathan turned slowly back to face Lex, and their eyes locked, blazing with fury; but neither man made a move to fight, and it was Jonathan who finally broke their gaze. 

"Stay away from my son, Lex," he spit quietly. 

And then he left, slamming the heavy wooden door roughly behind him.


	6. Chapter Six

****

Out of the Coat Closet

By Queen of Sarab

Author's Note: I'm not sure how long the next chapter will take I'm starting college this week, so I don't know yet how busy I'll be also, I'm trying to decide if I should up the next chapter to deserving an R rating or keep it PG13 anyway, I'll try to get it up soon, and please review! I thrive on your comments!

Chapter Six

Clark had walked the entire way home. It was the first time in his memory that he'd done that; he'd always relied his super speed to get him everywhere. But he had needed time to think, to seriously mull over the events of the past day in his mind. 

His mind, however, had other plans, and he found himself going in mental circles, like a dog chasing its tail. He loved Lex, and he loved his father, both in very different but equally stubborn ways. He didn't want to go against his father, but he wanted to be with Lex more than anything he'd ever wanted in his life. In fact, not being with him right now was eating away at him. He had left Lex with no answer to a soul-baring confession of love, and that hurt him more than it probably hurt Lex. 

It was fully dark by the time he finally walked through his front door, letting it slam carelessly behind him. Almost immediately following the doors resounding bang, Martha Kent's voice came sharply out of the next room.

"Clark? Is that you?"

"Yeah, Mom, it's me," the young Kent called back, tromping tiredly into the kitchen, where his mother was chopping lettuce.

"Oh, I'm glad you're home!" Martha said, setting down her knife and wiping her the shreds of vegetable still clinging to her palms against her worn jeans. "I was beginning to get really worried."

"Sorry," Clark mumbled, sinking onto a stool by the counter. "I just lost track of time, I guess."

"Well, supper's in a half hour," his mother said, "Oh, and Chloe stopped by just a little while ago she wanted you to call her."

Clark nodded affirmation. "Alright," he said. "I'm going up to the loft."

Without another word he slipped out the screen door leading outside, trudging across the yard and up through the barn, barely paying attention to his surroundings- the path was so familiar, so well-traveled, he hardly needed to pay attention anymore. 

"Clark?"

The chipper voice startled him out of his reverie, and he jumped in surprise. In the shadows of the growing night, a slight, blond figure hopped up from her seat on the bed and strode towards him. 

"Chloe," he said, "I thought my mom said you'd gone home."

His friend shrugged. "Well, I was going to, and then I just had this urge to come up her and watch the sunset. Hope you don't mind?"

"No, of course not," answered Clark with a minute shake of his head. "I just didn't expect to find you here."

Chloe's lips twitched into a smile, and she motioned toward the wide window of the loft. "Your telescope is actually very good for looking at stars, you know," she smirked. "It apparently has other uses than Lana-stalking."

With a small, humorless laugh, Clark crossed to the bed, sinking onto the edge without answering. Chloe studied him, then bent to and swiveled the telescope, staring out across the fields. "Doesn't quite reach the Luthor Mansion, though, does it?" she said softly, bright eyes quirking towards him. 

Clark started. "I wouldn't know," he murmured. 

"Uhhuh," answered Chloe. "I'm guessing that means the conversation I left you to this afternoon didn't go well?"

"Chloe, I don't know"

"Oh, don't protest, Clark," laughed Chloe. "The longing gazes kinda clued me in a long time ago."

Clark didn't answer, but he felt strangely calm. Chloe liked him- or so he'd been told- and yet here she was, not only knowing his dirty secret but understanding, seemingly sympathizing. It was an entirely different feeling from the guilt trip he'd been punched with by his father.

There was a soft creak as the smaller girl sat next to him. "You want to tell me what happened?"

A small shock of pain passed through Clark at the words. What had happened? He wasn't really sure himself. He'd finally found happiness, and it was threatened from two directions; he'd probably either lost his father or Lex; and he was more torn than he'd ever been in his life. 

"What happened," he repeated hoarsely, eyes glazing with unexpected moisture. 

"Yes," affirmed Chloe. "Maybe if you tell me, I can help."

His heavy eyes snapped to meet hers. She seemed sincere, and she was one of his best friends- if he couldn't tell her, he couldn't tell anyone, he reasoned. 

And suddenly the entire story was spilling out, from that fateful day on the bridge to their heated kisses in the loft to Lex's emotional speech. He become more and more fevered as he spoke, hands shaking as they pushed his hair away form his eyes, and by the time he finished Chloe was grasping his hand firmly, anchoring him to the bed and reality. 

"I don't know what to do," he said finally, voice trembling. "I don't want to hurt my father, but I don't know what I would do without Lex."

Chloe was silent for several moments before answering. "Well," she said finally, "I think it's pretty obvious what you have to do."

"It is?" Clark asked dubiously.

"Yes," she answered with uncharacteristic solemnity. "Clark, if you let this opportunity with Lex go by you'll regret it your entire life. No matter how it would have turned out in real life, you'll always wonder what would have happened if you'd given into your feelings."

"And my father?"

"He loves you, Clark. He'll either come to accept it or he won't, but he'll love you no matter what." With a soft smile Chloe caressed one side of his face with her slender hand, a resigned regret lurking in her eyes. "Go to Lex, Clark."

She stood, kissed him lightly on the forehead, and turned to go. Clark sat in a stupor behind her, mind whirling. "Chloe."

She turned. "Yeah?"

Eyes serious, Clark met her gaze with a suddenly strong and determined one of his own. "Thank you."

Chloe just smiled, then turned and walked down the stairs. 

It was less then five minutes before Clark zipped down the stairs, shooting across the fields and towards Lex's house.

(Author's reminder: PLEEEAAASSEEEE remember to review!!!)


	7. Chapter Seven

Out of the Coat Closet By Queen of Sarab 

AN: Well, I think this is the last chapter…thanks so much for all the support you guys have given me, and don't forget to review this chapter, too! *smiling hopefully* Anyway… sorry it's taken me so long to get this chapter done… I hope you enjoy it anyway! Don't forget to review… Pleeeaaassseeeee?!!

Chapter Seven 

The sky above Clark Kent's racing body was thick with ominous clouds, obscuring the clear field of stars that usually haunted the Kansas night sky. In fact, the clouds had been building all afternoon; but then, as now, Clark was much too distracted to notice them. In fact, he hardly felt the round wet drops that had begun to litter his clothes and skin, didn't realize the rain was pounding against him until he slowed and stopped outside the Luthor mansion gate.

It was simple enough to get through the bars and to the door; Clark had done it before, and he could easily do it again. The action of pressing the doorbell, however, became a deliberate and difficult act, and Clark gulped audibly before his trembling hand pushed in the glowing circle. 

Within he could hear the ring of the bell; he could hear Lex's irritated voice calling for someone to answer the door; and then he heard the light, graceful steps that signaled Lex's approach. 

Clark couldn't help the smile that crept to his dripping face as his alien hearing picked up the older man's mumblings. "Dozens of servants, and no one there to answer the door when you need them…"

He opened the door, and Clark's breath caught in his throat. Lean body taut, Lex's gaze locked with Clark's aqua stare, which was taking him in, drinking in his smooth ivory face, his clinging silk shirt, pressed black pants, immaculate polished shoes…this was Lex, the Lex he loved, and he could hardly bear the pressure of his heart pounding against the inside of his chest.

"Clark…"

Clark cut him off quickly, his lips pressing in a desperate and fierce kiss against Lex's. His callused hand lifted Lex's chin, holding it possessively in place as Clark kissed him again and again, short, powerful kisses designed to push away thoughts of the pain he had caused, to make Lex forget that there had ever been any doubt between them…

Lex pulled away finally, face flushed, and brushed a strand of rain-drenched hair out of Clark's eyes. 

"Clark, you're soaking wet," he scolded softly. "Come inside." 

He left no room for protest, tugging persistently at Clark's hand until Clark yielded, obedient as a trained puppy, to be dragged into Lex's office and Lex's own padded leather chair. 

"I don't need your chair, Lex," he protested as he was pushed, relenting easily, into the cushioned chair.

"Don't be stupid, Clark, the other chairs are deliberately designed to make whomever is sitting across from me uncomfortable. Now wait there for a minute."

Lex hurried off, leaving Clark in drenched anticipation. He didn't feel the cold the water would surely have brought had he been normal, but Lex didn't know that. His concern was genuine and warming, and Clark resolved to let himself be taken care of. Besides, Clark thought with a bemused smile, anything was worth seeing Lex bustle around like a worried mother hen.

The young Luthor returned in a matter of minutes with a steaming mug and a thick, wooly blanket, bunching it expertly around Clark's wide shoulders. 

"Really, Lex, I'll be fine," Clark protested weakly once more, allowing the mug of herbal tea Lex was holding to be placed in his hands. 

"Just drink," answered Lex, the Luthor note of authority creeping into the command. 

Clark obeyed immediately, closing his eyes as the hot liquid coursed through his veins, heating even his alien blood. Like fire it ran through him, half-scalding him with pleasant sensations of warmth and comfort.

"You know, this is exactly how you looked the first time I saw you."

Clark's eyes opened a crack, allowing the elegant young man before him into his field of vision. "Soaking wet," he drawled with a smile.

Lex nodded. "You'd just pulled me out of the river," he continued. "And your hair was plastered to you head in these beautiful dark curls… I'd just been dreaming, of flying through the clouds far above Smallville- you remember, I told you?- and then I opened my eyes, and there you where, like some guardian angel… some soaking wet guardian angel."

Clark laughed softly and slightly hysterically. "It's weird, isn't it, that that's what brought us together?" he mused. "A freak car accident?"

"You saved my life, Clark," Lex returned with a soft smile. "That's bound to bring people together."

A sheepish smile crept across Clark's face. "I'm glad it did," he admitted quietly. He took a deep breath. "Lex, I've been an idiot…"

"No, you haven't," Lex cut in quickly. "Scared, maybe. But never an idiot."

"No, I've been an idiot," Clark corrected with a grin, "and don't contradict me for a minute, just let me talk. I've been an idiot because I've known… I've had feelings for you for a long time, Lex, and I've been too blind to act on them or even realize them. You deserve better. You deserve to know how I feel. You deserve to know more than that, but there are things I just can't tell you right now, and hopefully you'll be able to understand that." Clark took a deep breath. "What I'm trying to say, Lex, is that I want to be with you, parental approval or not. When I'm not with you, I'm thinking about being with you. I've been gravitating towards you without even realizing it, and now that I do, I can't ignore it. I can't stay away. I want to be with you more than I've ever wanted anything in my life, and as long as you want me, I will be."

Across the desk, Lex didn't move. His eyes were frozen on Clark's lips, as if he were watching instead of hearing the words escape them. Clark shifted uncomfortably under the gaze, waiting in silence as the older man processed what he had just said. 

"Lex?" Clark asked tentatively after a few moments.

Finally, slowly, Lex stood, coming around the desk in a few confident strides. He looked down at the still- damp boy with a bemused smile. "You might not want to make such hasty promises, Clark," he said, bending to rest at eye level. Gently he took Clark's chin in his hand, pulling him in and pressing a swift, tender kiss on his lips. Their eyes locked as he pulled away, and Lex's smile grew.

"Because I'll want you forever," he finished softly.


End file.
